Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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