Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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