I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize