so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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