Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize