I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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