Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
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The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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