Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize