Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize