Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
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the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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