can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
so much tequila, so little girl.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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