so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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