i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he was CRYING into my vagina
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
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Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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