No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
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My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
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i've created a new STD.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I did not marry a roomba.
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