i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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