mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
and you fell through a lawn chair
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize