you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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