the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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