In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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