im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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