i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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