Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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