you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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