I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
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At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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