i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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