I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Mom said you looked used
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize