he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
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And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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