i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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