My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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