I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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