I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize