he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize