Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
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i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
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While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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