my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
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Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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