my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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