Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
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it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
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When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize