don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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