I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the room spins SO much faster in panama
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I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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