I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize