Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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