I wish I could teleport
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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