Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize