so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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