he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize