oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
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