i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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