I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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