Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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