The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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