"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize